the light fades

The light fades from orange to blue to black

Bird’s chirps are replaced with the crickets song

The night is awakened

I awake too

I am not afraid, I stand firm

But I am afraid

The darkness surrounds me and

in the deepness of the night everything fades

Nothing is clear yet everything is

Soon the music of the night grows quiet

The moon sets

And in this dark silence

I am alone

Hands of Love

feverishly

you loved

her

so much so

you

held her hand

in

yours

now the McBeth stain holds you captive

a self-given-guilt no washing can free

seventy-five years have passed

your liquid love

hidden away

deep beneath

your hands

now cracked

like dried earth

you had the flu

you were a child

and she was only two

how were you to know

what your hands of love could do?

you should know:

no-one

blamed

you

Mud

sink

into

a

pool

of dark water

slip

into

the

hole

of dirty sand

thoughts

drowning

in the

mud

like

me

A Cape Requiem

the rain

falling fast

falling on the raw earth

falling on the wooden box

falling on the people who loved you

deeply

burning holes into their skin

tear drops

from heaven

because you are missed

The Lovely Bones

scrape away the surface

claw into the skin

are you happy now?

bloody your fingernails

touch raw warm flesh

are you happy now?

tear away the muscle

cover yourself in blood

are you happy now?

break ghost-white bones

turn them to dust

are you happy now?

No

monsters never are

This World

this

dream world

seems

real

so glad

it

isn’t

my withering

heart

wouldn't

last

Untitled 3

pouring

out

my words

like

hot tea

if only

it

was

into

a cup

and

not

onto

your

heart

Untitled 2

voices

loud

beautiful and angry

heard above most

words

burning holes

into my heart

never-mind

i will patch them up

with

dish-washing, and suppers, and tv programmes, and watering my plants

and going out, and other conversations, and pretty things

and playing with my cat, and loving my husband,

and everyday things that people do

the

dull

ache

never

leaves

i wonder if you realise too

the only ones who can fill these holes

are me and you?

Untitled 1

the sadness seeps through my clothes

i'm drenched in sorrow

these watery words

what do they mean now

after so long?

cloud white shells

once filled

with

trust, love, hope

now

lay

barren

on the sand

all things must end

the tide must go out

Us

the cold wind scowls

angry at us, us with our

cold, gray roads

choking the earth like a noose

all while we are

burning and breaking beautiful

life

to make way for

cement boxes,

metal toys,

and fragile figures

the earth, so shy, lies still until

provoked

splashing her waves on the land

killing in her wake

how sad it is to know

the earth must defend itself

at war

because of

us.

A jealous love

Strange that when you find a 

Love

that is

strong and clear

You find yourself

wanting

to be part of

everything

Looking at photographs

many of younger years

years before I knew you

some

torn, faded

A sad jealousy washes over me

because of the years

I have missed

knowing you

empty

empty. 

empty from the Fear. 

empty without words. 

empty gifts from the world to fill my empty heart

and still I take. and still I fear. 

and still I hold on to this empty heart. 

empty from the Fear, the fear of being exposed, 

the Fear that keeps me back from the deep, rich, fullness of your love. 

and still I remain

empty.